lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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