I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
