So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
