She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
