omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
don't judge my taste in strippers
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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