He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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