it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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