TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
