dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize