She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
