yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
People in love make me want to vomit
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
