He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
