How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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