You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
