If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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