I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Randomize
