Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
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