Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
