Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
