one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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