we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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