Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
