Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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