Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
