apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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