so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
