I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
