i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize