Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
