If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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