Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My Sexting was not on an AP level
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
