we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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