You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize