break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
