what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
