I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
