maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
third nipple confirmed
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
