he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
