Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
