I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
My feet surprised me
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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