youre lurking in front of me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
