it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
