My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
