so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
