Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
