let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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