go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
