do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
