I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize