saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
