glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
