Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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