Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
