Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
