One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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