Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
