In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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