Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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