Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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