i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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