Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
