Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he was CRYING into my vagina
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
He shit in the fireplace
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
