Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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